This morning, I began to reflect on the issue of offense regarding a recent event. I realized that, regardless of the situation, I could not allow myself to be offended. So, I prayed for the strength not to take offense. In that moment, two distinct thoughts came to mind.
First, I remembered a time when I was sitting on my pastor’s sofa, discussing someone who had deeply hurt me. During our conversation, she suddenly tossed a small ball she was holding at me. Taken aback, I caught the ball in surprise. She then explained, “Offense is just like that; I can throw it at you, but you don’t have to catch it.”
I have never forgotten that lesson: when offense comes my way, I do my best to let it slip by and not allow it to enter my heart.
Proverbs 19:11 says, good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.
The Passion Translation says this: A wise person demonstrates patience, for mercy means holding your tongue.
The second thing that came to mind was a question God once posed to me during a time when I was tempted to take offense at something that had happened.
After this incident, the Lord spoke to me and said, “Kim, do you think a stopped-up well is the same as a dry well? Will they produce the same results?”
I answered, “Yes, both would prevent water from flowing through.” He gently replied, “You are correct; your well is not dry; it is stopped up. Unstop your well.”
Offense can block our well. The refreshing water of God cannot flow freely if we choose to take offense.
Matthew 18:6 says, But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
Avoiding offense has become quite difficult in recent years. It seems that no matter what we say, someone gets offended. While we may not be able to avoid offending others altogether, we can certainly improve our approach.
It feels like almost daily, someone says something that could be perceived as offensive. If this happens to you, be quick to forgive and move on. Don’t allow it to linger in your heart, and try not to dwell on it in your thoughts. Instead, focus on filling your mind with the Word of God.
Offense is defined as, an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult.
A perceived insult.
It’s all about how we choose to perceive the world around us. Even if someone intends to insult you, you don’t have to accept it in the way they intended. We have the option to take the high road and walk away. We can allow the insult to simply pass us by. Ultimately, we can choose to love others as God loves us—unconditionally.
But what happens when we choose to become offended? Proverbs 18:19 tells us.
It is easier to conquer a strong city than to win back a friend whom you’ve offended. Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible to win them back.
A person who takes offense is difficult to reach and convince. The Bible suggests that it is nearly impossible. When someone is offended, they erect walls around themselves, which prevents anything good from entering. This also means that God and His Word cannot get through. A similar situation occurs when we ourselves become offended; walls go up immediately.
Today, if someone offends you—especially if it’s someone you love—choose not to take it personally. Do not let it affect you or build walls around yourself. Instead, create barriers grounded in the Word of God and His love. Build walls that embrace God in His entirety rather than keeping Him at a distance.
How can we achieve this? By refusing to take offense.
I encourage you today to seek God. Ask Him if there are any areas in your life that you need to repent for, which may have blocked your spiritual well. Request His guidance in identifying any instances of offense, whether you are the one causing it or the one being hurt. If you find yourself in such a situation, repent and choose a different path. Only then will the refreshing living water of God flow freely into our lives. Isn’t that alone worth the effort to refuse offense?
